Dear James,
The only other letter I have ever written to you was when you were born. I wrote it in your baby book. The doctors told us you wouldnt live very long. So I poured my young mothers heart out to you on paper. Here I am again twenty five years later. Now you are gone. My heart is so full of tears. Tears of Joy for the health and happiness that I know you have found in Gods loving embrace...tears for the years that I longed to have you with me, laughing, hugging, talking...tears because my heart is breaking knowing that I will never look in your beautiful brown eyes on this earth again...I'll never get to hold your sweet hand in mine. Every time I let my tears fall I am afraid they will never end. I love you my boy. I miss you. More than anything I long with my whole heart to see you finally well and happy. I imagine you tall, strong and handsome like your brothers. Full of mischief, love and laughter. I know that you love music like Paul, you would love to watch sports with Caleb, love soft kittens and puppies like Noelle and would love fishing and hunting with your Dad and brothers. I hope that God will allow you to look down upon us...so that you can see and feel all of our love for you. I want to race to Heaven and be held strong in your arms and tell you how much I love you. I want to see you and your brothers tossing a football. I want to see the joy on your Fathers face the first time he can hug you tight and hear him say I love you Son. Oh James you are loved by so many of us here. Grandma's, Papa's, Aunts, Uncles and cousins. We are all so happy for you. Knowing you are well is the comfort that helps me stand the loss of you. Think of me James. Before too long we will be there with you. Please God let him know me and know my love for him. Please hold this broken heart of mine in your hands. Hold me God. It hurts.
Love Momma
